Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What a To Do!

This week has not been going at all like I expected.  My plan was to write every single day and to send a post out into the NiftyUniverse every day as well.  So far,  that plan has not come to fruition quite as I had envisioned and the reason is quite simple.  I am a very lazy slacker!  a very busy woman™!  The only appropriate course of action is to make a To Do list at once:

To Do

1.  Make To Do list (excellent start)

2.  Start supper (chicken in oven as I write)

3.  Laundry (always a crowd-pleaser)

4.  Write blog post (some progress here)

5.  Write/edit current work in progress (who are we kidding?)

6.  Order Homecoming corsages for boys as requested (already done! I am amazing!)

This is Spirit Week for the boys.  "Spirit Week" refers to building school "spirit",  and not, as I they had hoped, a week of ghosting and haunting and decorating for Hallowe-en and so forth which would at least have been fun for me! interesting!  They will have to wait until next month for that,  I suppose.  I am sure this misleadingly intriguingly named "Spirit Week" will still be pretty boring  pretty enjoyable.

Meanwhile,  I really feel that two teenage boys could have made more of an effort to use all of my ideas for the week  get more into the spirit of the week!  Tuesday was called "Tacky Twin Day" (obviously,  the school ought to have consulted me before settling on this name,  but TITK™ know I never mention this sort of lapse),  so naturally I advised the boys to go all out - choose matching outfits,  wear the same colours,  part their hair on the same side,  and generally adopt all of the boring, predictable  fresh, creative ideas their mother had suggested in order to win the contest!  show their school spirit!

My offspring is nothing if not cooperative  obstructive.  I had wisely counseled them to imitate Daryl, Daryl and Daryl of "Newhart" fame,  as they would then have both the "tacky" and the "twin" elements sewn up!  Sure, Daryl, Daryl and Daryl were not, in fact, twins (or triplets...nor any sort of multiples nor even brothers, possibly),  but their similar (tacky) attire and similar names (!) would definitely fit the bill! 

After a moment of blank incomprehension - how could anyone not remember Daryl, Daryl and Daryl, (even if the show had been on the air nearly two decades before their birth?)  How irritating! -  Edward and Ken dutifully went upstairs to change into their oldest jeans and checkered shirts hanging open over thermal tees. They came down looking not one bit like Daryl, Daryl and Daryl, so I sent them back up.  They returned still looking like their regular spiffy selves.  I complained irritably remarked pointedly that they did not look like twins at all and for some reason, my monozygotic sons stared at me,  seemingly nonplussed.  I was furious!  frustrated,  understandably,  but we had run out of time to the boys' immense relief,  unfortunately. 

This is the sort of thing with which I must constantly contend,  yet I am the soul of equanimity.  Some days, I do not know how I do it.

This morning,  I found myself once again unable to resist interfering having to sort other people out,  only this time it was not family members who required the guidance of Your Able Correspondent,  but unexpected strangers.  It may surprise Those in the Know to learn that I am frequently engaged in causing problems solving problems throughout the community,  and this morning was no exception.

Our local grocery store has apparently been taken over by lunatics!  I arrived bright and early at 7:45 this morning to pick up a few staples for one of my world-famous casseroles,  when I was rudely denied entry into the store!  Sure, there was a sign outside saying "Re-opening at 8:00"  and yes, the store had posted enormous banners, visible from the road 100 yards away, for weeks advising customers of an impending change of management involving two days closure for restocking,  but I want to know why their housekeeping should cause so much inconvenience to me!  customers!  I was forced to drive around the block about 100 times a few times while peering toward the store each time I passed to see if the "Re-opening at 8:00" sign had been removed yet.

As soon as I saw the officious young man who had prevented me from entering the store remove the sign,  I veered sharply across the lanes of traffic and screeched into the store parking lot  Eventually,  I deemed it late enough to return,  so I carefully proceeded into the parking lot and made my way sedately to the door.  Once inside the premises,  I am sorry to report that the place was amazingly well-organized, given that the staff had had only 48 hours to completely empty and restock the shelves  incredibly disorganized,  considering that the staff had had weeks   days   a few days  who cares?   some time - and certainly had used up a portion of my valuable time this morning - to restock the shelves and restore order. 

I hurried up and down the aisles in my usual haphazard fashion  orderly manner,  impatiently nodding at everyone as they hastily scattered to get out of my path  politely greeting everyone I met - isn't it interesting how people seem always to be running against the tide instead of with the tide of traffic?  Every single person in that store was going the wrong way!  but I am, naturally, too polite to point out their faults to strangers - and did my best to make sense of the newly arranged goods.  While it is true that nothing at all  not too much had changed  except store brands,  the general atmosphere in the place was different somehow,  and I do not like change!  but,  I am nothing if not adaptable!

Nevertheless,   In the produce section,  things were in shocking disarray.  I helpfully instructed the stock clerk on where to place things while cleverly demonstrating the flaws in the design of his orange pyramid.  The resulting citrus tsunami was totally unnecessary, of course, had he built the display properly in the first place.  Obviously,  had I been in charge over there,  none of this nonsense would have occurred!

The situation in the bulk foods aisle was hardly better.  The coffee bean dispensers have clearly been tampered with by this new management outfit.  I attempted to pour in 1/3 pound as I always do and at least 2 pounds exploded out of the bag as it always doesAfter kicking most of the spilled beans under the shelves  After cleaning up as best I could,  I put the bulging bag into my cart,  found a clerk to whom I loudly complained gently alerted about problem in the bulk foods aisle,  and made my way to the delicatessen.  There,  I was forced to have a word with the young woman at the delicatessen counter about the meager portions of their free samples.  I was certainly relieved to see that we have not lost the Boar's Head brand in all this sweeping new broom business,  but I felt it incumbent upon me to offer a timely tip:  with all the to-do about changing management, what with closing for two days and inconveniencing me customers,  now might be the ideal time to start offering me  customers more generous samples.

At the checkout,  yet another inconvenient glitch in the store's operations awaited me.  Those in the Know can surely imagine my exasperation! concern!  The code reader would not read the bars for the coffee, and even when the clerk entered it in manually, there was no response from the computer.  Spotting one of the roaming managers to whom I have often given a welcome word of advice,  I summoned him imperiously called out cheerily and demanded  requested a resolution to my problem at once ! as quickly as possible.  He came up with a solution very quickly indeed!  He authorized the clerk to give me the coffee free of charge!  Now that is service!

The people at the store insisted on helping me out to my car with my bags,  even though I only had two!  This attentiveness to a valued customer is something that I hope they plan to continue!  It may very well make up for their other shortcomings,  although unless the deli samples are increased and the general disposition of the entire staff improves,  I worry that it will be a long, difficult road ahead.

Good Day to All!

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