Friday, October 29, 2010

Answering the World's Prayers

Good day to all Those in the Know!

A few people have been irritating the heck out of me wondering why I haven't been updating my blog on a more regular basis.  All I can say is go away and stop annoying me thank you for being so annoying interested!  I am,  as you have probably guessed, extremely busy working on various idle pastimes important preparations for my upcoming month of amazing productivity!

Yes,  the moment the world has been waiting for has finally arrived!  Beginning on  November 1,  I will be setting to work on my grand opus,  my work of incredible genius,  my great Canadian-American novel

At midnight on Hallowe'en night,  when most people are settling down after a sugar-loaded day,  Your Faithful Recorder will be opening the cover on what will surely turn out to be the single most pitiful wreck of a manuscript ever the greatest novel of our generation!

Naturally,  I must prepare by demanding even more attention and mollycoddling from friends and family doing even more than my usual lion's share of what needs to be done around here.  As always, however,  I am cheerful and dedicated to the people who rely on me every day even if their constant demands on my time does interfere with my NCIS-watching.

So,  the entire week has been taken up with getting the house in order, paying bills and generally clearing the decks so that I can settle to my great task with few distractions.  Today,  I intend to perform a Christmas shopping blitz which will exceed even my own astonishingly efficient record from years past.  My plan is to cross off every name on the list outside our immediate family (in other words, everyone who will not be under this roof for Christmas) - today.  Yes, today.  Fifteen + gifts in one day.  Do you think I can do it?

I am confident that I can do it!  Furthermore,  I intend to wrap all of those gifts and box them for mailing tonight and tomorrow.  With my usual drama and hysterics calm dispatch,  I will have everything completely under control by Sunday,  when we will all relax and enjoy the festivities on Hallowe'en.  I won't actually mail the boxes until December 1,  after I have completed my novel.  Quite possibly,  our family and friends will appreciate copies of the manuscript included with the Christmas goodies - indeed, how can I fail to provide my far-flung loved ones with signed early copies of the most amazing work of literary genius of the century?  Obviously,  I will need to leave the boxes open.  I will wrap and pack, but not seal the boxes.  That is the plan.

So, my friends,  although TITK are well aware that I am nothing if not negligent diligent about updating my blog,  extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.  I expect Those in the Know to support my endeavor as I produce a work of staggering literary importance next month.  I will try to post once more before I give my mind over to the creative process,  but if it becomes impossible, I don't want to hear any whining about it.

Good Day to All!

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