So, weeks have gone by and I've thought of a hundred things I would like to write about here and I have how many new posts? Zero.
Why can't I write?
Oh, I can write if I back into it---say as a reply to an ongoing web forum discussion or perhaps in an email to a friend. But why can't I sit down and write outside of those situations? Why can't I write about all the ideas crowded in my mind jostling for expression and development, just to write about them?
I was thinking the exercise of being in an ongoing dialogue was seeming to be the key, and it still seems that way, at least in part. But at the same time, an ongoing dialogue means people I know and perhaps love might read what I have written. So I watch every word, edit over and over again...spend 8 hours getting 1500 words honed to a carefully written point.
I can't seem to write without a dialogue going, and I can't seem to write honestly and openly and fully WITH a dialogue open.
I think I have been unable to write deliberately because I am unwilling to upset people I know and love if my ideas do not please them. And for this reason, I shut myself down.
Ugh.
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